Creating Boy out of grown man - in Indian context

This is a real thinking line, at what age do kids in India are allowed to take decisions on their own? Not even the serious big items like career and marriage decisions. Even the minor day to day decisions like what to dress, what to eat?

I am aware of parents accompanying their sons and daughters to get them admitted into professional colleges. They get them admitted into post graduate courses. Show them the hostel, talk to his/her classmates/seniors to ensure the hot water is available in the hostel, the timings of breakfast, where to go for hair cut etc.. Sometimes, parents do these things to the utter embarrassment of their kids. What happens once the parents leave is a total different story.

Have you ever noticed any Indian matrimonial? Something like “A 25 year old boy looking for a bride”. I always wonder why we call someone 25 year old a “boy” and why a “boy” needs a bride. At what age do we recognize our boys becoming men and our girls becoming women?

In my opinion, our middle class is guilty of being over protective of their kids. Most men (especially men) do not even know how to wash their cloths, cook their food … even the simplest basic survival skills are a big ask.

This very crowd at work, can we hope them to throw their hat voluntarily into a risky situation and take ownership? Can we expect them to accept responsibility of something that goes wrong?

Similarly we have tempered with too much politeness, our Indian parenthood, while celebrated for its middle-class-conservative-strong-family-values, it made it difficult for individuals to become decisive and take a stand. Our brought-up makes it very difficult to take a stand and have an opinion. Lest being able to open up and say “I disagree”. Especially if it involves people older than me with whom I have to disagree. At home I can’t disagree with my zero-IQ-uncle just because he happens to have born couple of decades ahead of me. I bring in the same personality to work and find it difficult to disagree with my colleague who seemingly is much smarter than me, who possesses a degree from a more reputed college than me and has couple of more years of experience than me. DO o think this should happen.......feel free to write to me in case you have a plan/ thoughts to improve this

Leadership thoughts continued.....

As leaders:

■We set the tone, cast the shadow.
■We control the flow of information.
■We create dialogue (or not).
■We are the central hub of change, quality, efficiency and innovation.
The most effective leaders know that their ability to get people focused and moving forward, to get people engaged and motivated, to get people working with a sense of urgency and moving a little more quickly all hinges on their ability to communicate.

Where are we – as leaders – uniquely qualified to help and what should our teams and bosses expect from us?

Here are the four “musts” for any leader:

1.Seek out and provide context for organizational information. Ensure that your team clearly understands how their priorities and goals fit into the company’s overall priorities and goals. When a mistake happens or a project gets off track, ask yourself, “What context didn’t I provide for my team?”
2.Make information relevant by translating information so employees understand how they fit in and what’s in it for them. Help them see how what they do contributes and is meaningful for your team and organization.
3.Provide job-related information so your team receives essential information to help them do their job effectively. Research shows that you’re the preferred source – bar none – for job-related information.
4.Provide information and feedback on individual performance and other employee-related matters such as recognition of achievements and contributions, or ways to be better.
In almost all cases, only you can provide the information employees crave in a way that makes it meaningful for them, and gets them connected to your team and organization.

Whether you do it – or should I say, Weather you do it – is up to you. As I always think, change and improvement begins and ends with us. With this power and influence comes great responsibility.

Social Networks thoughts

Sometimes I wonder to think that Social Networks are like one of may many friends. I get to speak to unimaginable number of people free of cost (but if time is money, I have lost millions ;-) ). I gain a enough professionally so balanced. Quite a few of the new ideas and solutions to my problems come through such friends, social networks. I found excellent professionals and subject matter experts (SME) on these social networks who have now become great companions. We help each other (It is a two-way street always) so again time need to be put as an investment. I found many older friends also on these social networks. Some of them are my schoolmates, some college mates and others are recent ones. It gives great sense of satisfaction to find lost friends, great companions, professionals and experts.

But you have to pay a cost for everything that you consume so much so that the air you breathe, water you drink, and space you live in doesn’t come free. If you are not paying the cost directly, it is being accrued indirectly. As I mentioned above, the amount of time invested can never be regained. Social networks are intriguing but intruding. These networks take away ‘privacy’. As a reader & fan of psychology, I can challenge that every human being has tendencies to be secretive. If one claims to be transparent, it is not a complete true statement – sometimes not true at all! like many politicians. But the fascination of revealing/publishing the things (which were best kept secrets) has surmounted the mind and remains unconquered we can also lots of mirch masala to this for fun. But I haven’t revealed the worst yet. These now this is American thought process with in social networks take away your imagination. These social networks make you the victim of OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) Now this is erected in me due to longer stay in the American way of expressing thoughts. I am not writing this as a preacher. I am also a victim of social networks . Orkut, (the only network that I exited) Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin, Live Journal, and many others (I profusely reject requests for joining any other social network) just save time for me work & family.

Not so long ago (10-12 years back) we exclaimed when we found a long-lost friend in a crowded market, on board an airplane, in a train or some other place like that. Today we exclaim when we see someone after a gap of a week on Facebook. “Where’re you for so long.” Most people hate those who are not on these networks. They are considered ‘down market’, ‘illiterate’, ‘non-progressive’ and ‘naive’. Today photo albums have been replaced by Flickr, Picasa and other such sharable online albums, where anyone and everyone can see you (you can put some policies to avoid onlookers to some extent). To be there or not to be there - this state of dilemma has crippled me. I am not able to take a decision whether I shall be there and continue to harness the great deal of advantage or just simply detach myself to be more imaginative, original and free myself from enslavement. Share your thoughts with me with comments or ravindrapande@gmail.com

Attitude, after all, is everything.

A friend has sent me this very philosophical mail .Very interesting and very relevant for all of us .Hope you will enjoy this not my creation but great to read in not so good times, hats off to this author

Michael is the kind of guy you love to love. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say.When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!" He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, Michael was there telling the employee How to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Michael and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all
Of the time. "How do you do it?"

Michael replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood. I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something Bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it.

I choose to learn from it.Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested. "Yes, it ! Is," Michael said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk,every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live life." I reflected on what Michael said. Soon thereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Michael was involved in a serious accident, falling some 60 feet from a communications tower. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Michael was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.

I saw Michael about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied. "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my
scars?" I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his Mind as the accident took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon To be born daughter, " Michael replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I Remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live or I could choose to Die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.

Michael continued, "...the paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when! they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared.

In their eyes, I read "he's a dead man"
I knew I needed to take action."
"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well there was a big burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Michael.
"She asked if I was allergic to anything. "Yes, I replied." The doctors
And nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath
And yelled, "Gravity."

Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

Michael lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything. "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." After all today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.