Creating Boy out of grown man - in Indian context

This is a real thinking line, at what age do kids in India are allowed to take decisions on their own? Not even the serious big items like career and marriage decisions. Even the minor day to day decisions like what to dress, what to eat?

I am aware of parents accompanying their sons and daughters to get them admitted into professional colleges. They get them admitted into post graduate courses. Show them the hostel, talk to his/her classmates/seniors to ensure the hot water is available in the hostel, the timings of breakfast, where to go for hair cut etc.. Sometimes, parents do these things to the utter embarrassment of their kids. What happens once the parents leave is a total different story.

Have you ever noticed any Indian matrimonial? Something like “A 25 year old boy looking for a bride”. I always wonder why we call someone 25 year old a “boy” and why a “boy” needs a bride. At what age do we recognize our boys becoming men and our girls becoming women?

In my opinion, our middle class is guilty of being over protective of their kids. Most men (especially men) do not even know how to wash their cloths, cook their food … even the simplest basic survival skills are a big ask.

This very crowd at work, can we hope them to throw their hat voluntarily into a risky situation and take ownership? Can we expect them to accept responsibility of something that goes wrong?

Similarly we have tempered with too much politeness, our Indian parenthood, while celebrated for its middle-class-conservative-strong-family-values, it made it difficult for individuals to become decisive and take a stand. Our brought-up makes it very difficult to take a stand and have an opinion. Lest being able to open up and say “I disagree”. Especially if it involves people older than me with whom I have to disagree. At home I can’t disagree with my zero-IQ-uncle just because he happens to have born couple of decades ahead of me. I bring in the same personality to work and find it difficult to disagree with my colleague who seemingly is much smarter than me, who possesses a degree from a more reputed college than me and has couple of more years of experience than me. DO o think this should happen.......feel free to write to me in case you have a plan/ thoughts to improve this